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In what many Nigerians are calling “The Great Colapse of Hope FC”, the impressive 2-1 defeat of Arsenal against the PSG in the semifinal of the Champions League has sent waves of emotional devastation throughout the country.
The reports of everything Abuja, Lagos, Ibadan and even Owerri confirm the situation: the street football matches have been canceled, his vendors are now roasting in silence and even the traffic of lakes respectfully only once, then they were silent.
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Two of the most affected citizens, Samuel “Saka Till I Die” Jackson and Phemmy “in Arteta We Confied” Adetula, were last seen at the Nkechi breast viewing center by throwing their arsenal diapers to a pot of pepper soup. Since the final whistle, the duo has refused to eat, drink or collect phone calls, even their mothers. His WhatsApp states, once full of “We are final!” GIFS, now show only one line: “No comments. Only pain.”
Eye witnesses confirm that Samuel tried to chew a piece of bread, but surrendered to half and whispered: “Even this was not sweet again.” According to the reports, Phemmy tried to see Arsenal’s victory over Madrid again, but began to cry when he saw Martin Ødegaard smile.
Nigerian Twitter is in flames with hashtags like #arsenalWhy and #sakasrorynoffense. A user tweeted: “My neighbor Wey Dey owes Nepa simply to pay the frustration bill.”
Even the popular prophet who predicted the triumph of Arsenal last week, supposedly moved to Togo for “personal meditation.”
But there is light at the end of the tunnel. In the spirit of comic relief, a movement has begun “Jollof For Healing”, a national call to feed all arsenal fans affected by this tragic loss with Jollo Premum Party and 1 liter of cooled Zobo.
At the time of publication, Samuel and Phemmy are being encouraged by friends to leave, eat something and maybe see the old Thierry Henry clips to obtain emotional healing.
Because at the end of the day, football only game, but the hunger of real life!
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