”Why My Marriage Didn’t Work,” Kaffy Dancer opens up about a painful lesson

Popular Nigerian dancer and fitness trainer, Kafayat Shafau, better known as Kaffy, has opened up about the breakdown of her marriage, admitting that she went into it without fully understanding what it entailed.

Speaking in conversation with media personality Chude Jideonwo, Kaffy reflected on her divorce from music producer Joseph Ameh, which was finalized in January 2022. She said her experience exposed a wider problem, where many people marry without adequate preparation to face reality.

According to him, the guidance people receive while growing up is often not enough to equip them to face the emotional, psychological and practical demands of married life. He notes that, like many others, he assumed that marriage would work without first gaining a deep understanding of the responsibilities involved.

Kaffy argues that marriage should be approached as a serious institution that requires careful study and preparation, not something that just people do. He emphasized that society places great importance on marriage, but does little to ensure every individual is trained or ready to marry.

READ ALSO: Chelsea beaten by Everton in fourth straight defeat

The mother of two also questioned how easily people can get married compared to other big life decisions. He points out that while many processes require rigorous testing and qualifications, marriage—despite its impact on families and society—is often conducted without similar scrutiny.

She said, “I wasn’t educated enough to get married, and many of us weren’t; our parents didn’t prepare us enough. Living from their perspective wasn’t enough education about marriage.

“This is a special course that needs to be taken; we cannot have a society that can issue a marriage certificate more easily than a driver’s license, just as it is harder to get a driver’s license but easier to get a marriage certificate, but it is in this house that all the ills of society are built.

“There are many mental health situations and assessments that need to be done. It’s not just counseling that they have to do. They have to do a mental evaluation of the partner.

“It should be a mandatory requirement that drug testing, mental evaluation, couples therapy, all of that, there should be a year-long human behavior science program that they have to go through before two people come along and damage another human being that they’re going to bring into their life.”