FEATURE… When Love Asks You to Quit: Female footballers’ struggle between romance and career

For Israel Rebecca, popularly known as Becky, the football pitch is more than a place to play. It is where worries disappear.

The young footballer has already gained experience beyond Nigeria, having spent a season playing in Cameroon. She currently plays for Akwa United in Uyo, where she continues to pursue her career in women’s football.

Away from the pitch, Becky faces the financial difficulties, relationship challenges and uncertainty that can come with building a career in Nigerian female football. But once she steps onto the field, those concerns seem to fade. “Once I get to the field, I don’t have any thinking in my head again,” Becky said. “All I think is, how will I play this ball?”

For her, that feeling is one of the reasons football remains a priority. Yet while the game gives her a sense of purpose, it also comes with sacrifices, particularly when it comes to relationships.

The question of whether female footballers can successfully balance romantic relationships with demanding sporting careers is one that continues to confront many young women pursuing the game. Training camps, travelling, competitions, demanding schedules and financial uncertainty can make maintaining a relationship difficult.

For Becky, distance is one of the biggest challenges. “Most of the time, it is difficult being in a relationship and distance is very difficult for me,” she explained.

She noted that maintaining a relationship becomes easier when a partner understands the demands and realities of her career.

“I wish one day I have my time,” she said, explaining that periods such as pre-season sometimes provide an opportunity to see her partner. “It is very difficult except you are with someone that understands you, understands your career and whereabouts. So that will make it a peaceful relationship.”

Her experience reflects a challenge that may be familiar to female footballers whose careers require them to spend long periods away from home.

But for Becky, a relationship should not become a reason to abandon football. Although she has never been directly asked by a partner to choose between football and a relationship, she already knows what her decision would be if faced with such a situation. “I would rather go for football,” she said.

Her reasoning is straightforward. Football, she believes, gives her an opportunity to earn an income and become financially independent.

“When you are playing, you earn more money. You wouldn’t be a liability in your relationship than just sitting down doing nothing and expecting your partner to be there for you all the time,” she explained.

For Becky, football also provides an emotional escape. The pitch gives her something that is difficult to find elsewhere.

“Once you are in the field, you feel happy,” she said. “Once you are happy, the ball you are playing, you will feel yourself. Everything will go smoothly.”

 

When Love Demands a Sacrifice

Not every young female athlete has experienced love and sport in the same way.

For Akewusola Morenikeji, popularly known as “Cochopio” on the track, a relationship became a difficult choice between love and the career she was determined to build.

When her partner wanted her to give the relationship her full attention, Morenikeji was unwilling to abandon her sporting career. She chose to continue pursuing her dreams, even when it meant losing the relationship. “I can never give up my career because of a guy,” she said.

Her experience presents another side of the debate: for some young female athletes, the struggle is not simply about finding love, but finding a partner who understands that their sporting career is part of the future they are trying to build.

Morenikeji, who is currently awaiting admission after sitting for the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board examination last year, is trying to build both her educational and sporting future.

Her story demonstrates the difficult choices young female athletes sometimes face when relationships compete with ambitions they have spent years building.

When Love Becomes a Distraction

For Olaniran Jumoke Olaoluwa, a player with Champion Rise Football Academy in Kwara State who looks up to Asisat Oshoala as her mentor, the question of love and football is not theoretical. She has experienced the conflict herself.

Jumoke said she once had a boyfriend who wanted her full attention, something she could not give because of the demands of her football career. The disagreement eventually contributed to the end of their relationship.

Her experience has also shaped the way she views the choices other female footballers make when relationships and careers collide.

Speaking in Yoruba, Jumoke said:

Translation: “I heard about a girl we used to train together. Her boyfriend asked her to quit football, saying that he would take care of her. She decided to leave football, and that is her choice. But I can’t do that. That’s why I said we should break up, because I can’t allow the little enjoyment I may have today to spoil my future.”

For Jumoke, the problem is not having a boyfriend, but having a partner who does not understand the demands of being a female footballer.

She believes a romantic relationship should not force a woman to abandon a career she has worked hard to build. She warned young female footballers against allowing men to convince them to quit football with promises that they would take care of them financially.

For her, depending entirely on a boyfriend is risky because relationships can change, while a career and the financial independence it provides can give a woman greater control over her future.

She therefore advised female footballers to take their careers seriously and avoid sacrificing their ambitions for a relationship. Yet Jumoke does not believe footballers must remain single to succeed.

Having a boyfriend, she said, is not a problem if the partner understands the demands of the career and is willing to support it. The real danger, in her view, comes when a relationship becomes a source of distraction or pressure to quit. Her own experience has convinced her that love can coexist with football, but only when both partners understand the sacrifices required.

Beyond football, Jumoke is also preparing herself for life outside the sport. She works as a teacher and is learning catering, giving her alternative skills and another means of supporting herself financially.

Jumoke’s decision to develop skills outside football also reflects a wider reality in the women’s game. FIFA’s fourth Setting the Pace Women’s Football Benchmarking Report, published in 2025, expanded its assessment to 86 leagues and 669 clubs across six areas, including the financial landscape and player-related matters, providing a broader picture of the challenges facing women’s football as leagues continue to professionalise. The report also highlights contracts, player pathways and other measures aimed at strengthening the sustainability of women’s football careers.

The importance of preparing for life beyond football was also highlighted in FIFA’s 2023 edition of the report. The study, which analysed 34 top women’s football leagues and 316 clubs across the six FIFA confederations, found that the median player contract length ranged from one to 1.5 years, with 34 per cent of contracts lasting less than 12 months. It also found that 76 per cent of clubs provided some form of support for players pursuing or sustaining careers outside football, including training flexibility, courses and upskilling opportunities.

Together, the findings underline the importance of preparing for life beyond the pitch, particularly in a career where playing contracts can be relatively short. For players like Jumoke, developing other skills alongside football is not simply a backup plan but a way of building greater financial security and independence for the future.

When Love and Football Collide

Coach Abdulwahab Muyideen, a football coach with Model Queen Football Academy in Ilorin, has also witnessed the tension that can arise when relationships clash with a female footballer’s career. According to him, romantic relationships can affect players positively or negatively, depending largely on the understanding and character of their partners.

“Romantic relationships can affect female footballers both positively and negatively, depending on the kind of relationship they are in,” he said, explaining that problems often arise when a partner fails to understand the demands of football or brings personal issues to the player at the wrong time.

Muyideen recalled a case involving a player from another team whose partner asked her to choose between their relationship and football. He said they intervened and tried to convince the man to allow the player to concentrate on her career.

He noted that the demands of football make such understanding particularly important. Female players may have twice-daily training sessions, travel for competitions and spend long periods away from home. “It all depends on the level of trust and understanding,” he said.

For Muyideen, however, support goes beyond simply understanding football. A partner must also be able to provide emotional and psychological support, particularly when a player loses a match or faces difficulties in her career. He stressed that the personality and character of the partner matter as much as their knowledge of the sport.

Ultimately, he does not believe female footballers should have to choose between love and their careers. “They can go line in line,” he said, provided there is trust, communication, understanding and genuine support.

When Her Career Challenges His Expectations 

Salahudeen Olatunji Yusuf, a businessman, said he had never dated a female footballer before. However, he said that if he were to marry one, he would consider taking a second wife to ensure that his expectations of marriage and his partner’s sporting career could coexist.

“If she’s building her career, then I will be building the second wife’s career also, because I don’t want her career to spoil my own career as a man,” he said.

Olatunji argued that the demands of professional football could make it difficult for him to enjoy the companionship and responsibilities he expects from marriage. He pointed to the travelling, matches and trials that could keep a footballer away from home.

“Imagine when I marry a wife I won’t enjoy. Every time I need her, she will now be saying she has a match, they are travelling, or she has a trial. I won’t be able to enjoy my wife,” he said.

He explained that he also expects a wife to be available for companionship, intimacy, cooking and other roles he associates with family life. For him, marrying a second wife would be a way of balancing those expectations with the demands of a footballer’s career.

His comments reveal a different tension: for some prospective male partners, the challenge is not whether women can have careers, but whether those careers fit their expectations of marriage.

When Support Becomes Discouragement

For Olayinka Damilola, popularly known as “Olori”, the struggle has also involved choosing between a relationship and her sporting ambitions.

A Business Administration student at Newland Polytechnic, Damilola is a player with Model Queen Football Academy in Kwara State. Like Jumoke, she has experienced the painful side of pursuing a sporting career while trying to maintain a romantic relationship.

Her boyfriend wanted her to quit football, placing her in a difficult position where continuing her career meant putting the relationship at risk. Ultimately, her commitment to football prevailed.

Damilola said she has also encountered discouragement from people around her. According to her, some believe women do not have a future in football, a perception that can make it more difficult for young female players to remain committed to the sport.

For Damilola, the lesson is clear: perseverance is essential.“Never give up, no matter what the challenges may be,” she advised young female footballers.

The Bigger Challenge Beyond Relationships

While relationships are an important part of the struggles faced by some female footballers, Becky believes the challenges go beyond love.

Becky’s experience reflects a wider financial challenge in women’s football. A 2024 study by FIFPRO, FIFA and Australia’s Edith Cowan University, which surveyed 736 elite female footballers across 12 countries, including Nigeria, found that 73.9 per cent earned less than US$19,000 a year from football, while 52.8 per cent earned less than US$5,000.

The study also found that 27 per cent of the players had a secondary job, while 36 per cent were undertaking formal education or study alongside their football careers.

The findings highlight why financial independence remains an important concern for female footballers. For many players, football alone may not provide sufficient income to sustain their livelihoods, making education, alternative skills and other sources of income important alongside their sporting careers.

One major concern is financial instability. She explained that unpaid salaries can be highly demoralising, especially when players are already struggling to meet their basic needs.“When the team cannot afford to pay the actual amount of money that is supposed to be paid, maybe they are owed for some months, it is very, very difficult,” she said.

Becky also described the difficulty of attending training without eating properly, returning home to handle household responsibilities and still meeting the physical demands of football.“It is not easy being a woman playing football,” she said.

Becky’s concerns are reflected in recent reports of financial difficulties within Nigerian women’s football. Sports247 reported in 2026 that players of Osun Babes threatened to boycott league matches over alleged unpaid salaries, bonuses and allowances spanning four months.

According to the report, some players had received only ₦60,000 since joining the club at the beginning of the season, leaving them struggling to meet basic needs. A player who spoke anonymously to Sports247 described the situation as one in which players had been forced to rely on fans and others for support.

The reported situation illustrates the financial vulnerability that can confront female footballers when clubs fail to meet their contractual and welfare obligations. For players already balancing demanding training schedules and personal responsibilities, prolonged salary delays can make pursuing football significantly more difficult.

For her, these challenges make support from a partner even more important. She believes a supportive partner should understand the demands of the game rather than become another source of pressure.“It is a very good thing for a man to support a woman playing football,” she said.

Love Should Not Become a Distraction

For Becky, the solution is not to avoid relationships but to find a balance between love and career. “Love and career can go in a way that, when you are determined and serious about what you think you are doing, you can balance them together,” she said.

She, however, warned that relationships should not interfere with training, participation or performance.“Anything that will cause distraction as a female footballer, you need to amend it a little,” she advised.

Beyond relationships, Becky is also preparing for life after football. She has learnt barbing and how to make dreadlocks and is developing an interest in salon work.“My profession is football, but what I have passion for is my handwork,” she explained.

She urged other female footballers to develop skills outside the game so they have something to rely on when their playing careers eventually end. “Think and rethink and find something to do,” she advised.

For Becky, the answer is not choosing between love and football, but knowing one’s priorities, protecting one’s career and preparing for the future.

 

By Issa Hamed Alhaji